When you enter motherhood, you have to wave goodbye to some of the prized pre-baby experiences. Regular date nights, daily showers and lay-ins past 7 am are just a few. However, it is important to remember that you are still a person and you still deserve you time.
It is true that as a mum, you are responsible for your child’s well-being, but that doesn’t mean deserting your own. Give yourself that permission; you don’t need it from anyone else. Taking time for yourself will even make you a better mum. Here’s why you should take time for yourself…
You are a person
Yes, you are a mum and it’s your job to look after your little ones, but you are still a person yourself. It can be difficult to remember your own needs when you are so consumed with catering to your family’s needs. Set aside some child free time and do something you love, just because. It could be anything from clothes shopping, lunch out with friends or even just starting your own mummy blog.
As well as being a mum, remember you are also a wife or partner. If you have a strong and healthy relationship, it will improve your family time and allow your children that chance to enjoy time altogether. Ask the grandparents to look after the children for one night and take a break at a spa and golf club. Indulge in a massage while he goes off to play some golf, then come together and enjoy some quiet time together and rekindle the spark in the relationship.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
When I am away from my children, I miss them like mad, and then I am so happy to see them when we are reunited. That absence makes us both miss each other and then the quality time we spend when we are back together is unsurpassed.
It may seem scary at first but work your way up. Start off just being away for an hour while you do the food shop or go to the gym and then gradually work your way up to afternoons or days. Your child will learn new social skills and become much more independent. It will set up pre-schoolers for an easy transition into school and make them much more confident.
You are their role model
If you do not have any sort of identity and don’t take time for yourself, what kind of message is that sending to your children? You want them to grow up seeing a strong independent woman, as well as a good mother, to teach them the type of person they should be. Following your passions or hobbies will ensure they grow up admiring you for doing cool stuff, they may even brag about it to their friends.
If you want to work, there is no shame in this; you shouldn’t feel like you have to give up just because you are a mum. If you want to stay at home, this is totally fine too, you should feel free to be whatever person you want to. As long as your children see a smiley, happy and fun loving mummy, they have the best role model they could wish for.
One day they will grow up
I know it is a scary thought, but before you know it your children will grow up, start high school, move out and become fully independent. Yes, this means that these years are precious years to nurture and love your children.
But it also means it is really important not to forget to work on becoming the person you want to be. That way, when they do fly from the nest, you will still have you, your hobbies and your own life. Take time to exercise, bake, paint, draw, and work, whatever it is you love to do. This way you won’t have to find yourself again one day because you will always be right there.
Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post.
I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote. It’s sad when women forget neglect their needs just because they are mothers.