If you want to raise a child that is well mannered then you must stop looking at the world from your perspective (the adult viewpoint) and adopt a more child centric perspective.
The constant swirl of rules and new scenarios can be highly confusing for a child so you must do all that you can to see the world from their viewpoint. This is especially true when trying to introduce new rules and concepts such as being polite and well mannered.
Being a busy mum means this is often much easier said than done, however it is possible.
Here are 5 top tips to help you raise a little angel and not a little rascal!
1. Don’t Create Distance
Even when you feel like running for the hills because of their bad behaviour, stay close. Kids can sense when you try and put distance between you and them and it can have a very negative effect if you create space as a result of their bad behaviour. Instead, stay close and simply reinforce the good things they do and downplay the bad.
2. Who’s the Boss?
It can sometimes come as a surprise that in the face of bad behaviour the child parent relationship can become reversed. I have witnessed firsthand the power a screaming tantrum can have on a worn out parent and the power this has to switch the roles in the parent child relationship really is quite amazing.
Just remember that you are the boss. You are the one who calls the shots and you are the one that has all the responsibility to ensure that your child is well behaved and well mannered. If you give up your role as the boss just imagine what will happen…
3. Consistency is Key
When your child challenges you and you are almost at your wits end it can be tempting to throw your hands up and give in. This is the worst thing you can do. As most parents will tell you, you are simply creating a rod for your own back in the future. Rewarding bad behaviour like this will only make it worse in the long run so as hard as it might be, be consistent.
Sometimes when you are feeling stressed and lacking in the motivation to be consistent in your approach a trusted friend or sensible relative can be invaluable. If your child has a favorite aunt that you trust to set a good example, there is no reason that you should feel guilty about letting them take over for a little while. That’s what friends and family are for after all!
4. Always Be Realistic.
Sometimes it is easy to look on Facebook and think that everyone else has the perfect well-mannered children who always do as they are told. Of course this is a total myth. No one ever puts their bad bits up on social media so definitely do not use that as benchmark to judge how well you are doing when it comes to parenting.
Instead, set realistic expectations. Determine where you and your child are in the spectrum of behaviour and learning and then make a realistic plan based on that. You will be much happier and so too will your child if you focus on realistic goals that both of you can achieve when it comes to acceptable behavior.
5. Does it run in the Family?
Remember although your child might be the image of you and share many of your qualities and traits they are ultimately their own little person. With this they have their own little traits and characteristics that make them unique. So, just because you act a certain way it does not follow automatically that your child will also act the same.
Always allow your child’s individuality to shine through in all situations. It is the one true way to ensure that as well as raising a well-mannered and well behaved child you also raise a child that is happy and well adjusted. That surely is the most important of all.
Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post.
well said charlotte xxx
Definitely agree with consistency. If you show different things to your kid, they’re just going to get confused about how to behave!